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So. First of all, I realize it's December hey look it's almost February isn't Chiakii lame?, and I'm late as hell. I've got really no inspiration as of late. It's not that I don't have any real opinion or that I'm losing interest...I just can't seem to spew out entries. Oh well.

But anyway. I'm stepping over my review of Ongaku Gatas and Berryz and Buono! and C-ute, because no matter what you all say, Momusu is the fucking flagship group of H!P and the Kids are never going to be greater than them. Do you hear me?

...well, anyway.

I love "Mikan" so much. It's not that this is a piece of musical brilliance - it actually sounds very close to several Momusu b-sides that I don't bother listening to (which is probably why Tsunku and Up-Front thought they could get away with it). But listening to it brings a smile to my face, and watching the PV fills me with this indescribable feeling of warmth and fuzziness. For a Momusu fan, this is a back-to-the-start, and it's like with that Enchanted movie Disney put out - the idea of a much-loved and now-classic phenomenon returning to their roots gives you the warm fuzzies.

But is that really what they need?

With this single, it feels like Morning Musume's returning to their roots. While this gives longtime fans like you and me (or just me, depending on who you are - you know, it's way creepy realizing that I don't know who the hell is reading this) the warm fuzzies, most Japanese people don't bother to know every Momusu girl and the whole history behind the epic journey of Morning Musume. It's less that Momusu is a fad that's out but won't go away - it's more that it loses and gains its fanbase with every audition and graduation. As I once read on I believe it was Pink Wota - if you joined the Momusu fandom because you thought Goto Maki was just the greatest thing ever and never got much farther than that, you probably jumped ship around "Koko ni Iruzee!" or "AS FOR ONE DAY" after realizing you could never, ever love another Momusu girl the way you did Gocchin.

Then, you have fans like me: I joined up because I thought the music was catchy and Tanaka Reina was pretty. Now? Music is still catchy, very much so...but Tanaka Reina is my least favorite member. Longtime Momusu fans are the ones that have multiple favorite members (though maybe still in a pecking order) and find new ones with every graduation and audition. Which isn't to say that the above fan is less of a fan - just someone that really only had one Momusu love, and no one else. It's almost a crappy romance story.

And "Mikan" really only caters to the second type of fan who will recognize this is as a back-to-the-start kind of song. To anyone else, this is generic pop. It can easily be passed over in favor of something a little more creative.

Morning Musume shouldn't be going back to their old stuff. The sense of nostalgia is only there for well-known songs like "Love Machine", but you know what?
 

Fuck "Love Machine." (Yes, I just said that.) It's a classic, it's got the beat that never gets old...and it's keeping Momusu from moving forward. There comes a time when songs like "Chokkan 2" and "Onna ni Sachi Are" need to become staple performances. "Love Machine" is great, but all these performances of it just highlights the OGs - 30-year-old idols that barely work anymore. "Mikan" has the ability to send chills down my back with the Live positively line as well as "Love Machine" ever could.

And now that that rambly piece is over (and I really don't feel I explained myself very well with it...maybe this should be another entry in itself), let's get superficial.

SAYUMI IS FUCKING GORGEOUS. I really don't feel Sayu is Rika 2.0. She's really a new kind of kawaii all by herself. She's very flirty and coy in a way that makes you feel like she's got this hidden agenda. For all her frills and rainbow-pinkus, Sayumi's got this undercurrent of complete evil intelligence, and I think that is what makes me love her so very much. Evil kawaii. Usa-chan will RULE THE FUCKING WORLD.

Still, she was quite an adorable kid, wasn't she? (She's still adorable now, actually.) Look at that, throwing us off the scent at the age of what, three? I can see her plotting world domination, and peeking out from under that hat to make sure no one's coming to usurp her throne...

And you know, she looks mildly demonic here. "Look into my eyes..."

*coughs* Anyway.

Linlin was the CUTEST THING EVER WHEN SHE WAS LITTLE. Seriously. Those braids! The fans! The whatever-it-is she's wearing! LINLIN!!

Actually, I was very pleasantly surprised by all the screentime Linlin nabbed in this PV. Not as much as the other girls, but Junjun didn't even show up until well into the second verse, while Linlin weaseled her way into the pre-chorus. Atta girl.
 

And you can never have too much Linlin, amirite?

Though I think she'd benefit from a different hairstyle. The one she has right now doesn't sit well with her face shape and features.

Linlin actually seems to have a pretty strong voice. I can actually hear her voice distinctly in the chorus. That makes me happy.

Junjun...looks like Chisato, y/n?

It's hard to say what I dislike about Junjun. Rather, she doesn't interest me half as much. Cute? Sure. Of course. Funny? She's got her moments. The banana with Eri, the "Araaa?" when she didn't get a question on Utaban...I'm sure there are more. But I can't put my finger on anything extraordinary about her, other than her Internet fame and extreme kawaii. Junjun should be the perfect idol. She's pretty, she's got talent, and she seems to be very intelligent - and that's my problem with her. I can't find anything wrong with her. My favorite idols all have flaws, from being not traditionally pretty to bad singing to no personality to being extraordinarily clumsy...Junjun doesn't have any of that. Morning Musume is supposed to give hope to all those offbeat, off-rhythm, klutzy girls out there that one day, they too can be lusted after by salarymen. Or you know, something like that.

Junjun wants YOU to join the Panda Army.

(Just some obligatory PANDA LOVE.)

LOLOLOL Reina's got an afro. It was really hard to hate her when I saw this picture.

She seems a little more badass in this video, even more so than in "Onna." Which is strange, considering how much more cutesy "Mikan" is. But her performance in "Onna" felt so...fake, in a way. Maybe we should all accept that Reina just isn't a badass yankii. In the cutesy setting of "Mikan", Reina feels a lot more genuine. She's still winking like crazy, but I think that's becoming a Reina trademark.
 

Wink, Reina! Wink like there's no tomorrow!

You know what? I don't care what you all say. Takahashi Ai is doing a fantastic job as a leader. Everyone says so - how helpful she is in getting everyone to fit in and work together. Yeah. Oh, and Aichan was a cute kid.

I mean, just look at this. Miki and Yossie might've been stronger, more brusque leaders, but Aichan seems like the kind of leader they could be comfortable with. She's not overwhelmingly senior like Kaori (the other girls seemed scared out of their mind - OMG, original member right there!) but she's not downright frightening like Miki. She might not be the perfect idol, but if she sticks around (no graduations plz, no graduations plz) I think Aichan might go down as one of the best leaders in Momusu history.

(But no one can beat Yuko - and yes, I'm using this opportunity to post some OG hotness.)

In a way, it feels like a fate kinda thing that Miki left. Miki/Ai felt disjointed in a way...Takagaki was a natural duo that's been growing and strengthening since 2001. There are just some leader/sub-leader duos that work, and Takagaki is one of them.

Koharu...has a cold sore. I didn't even notice until Cassie pointed it out to me.

amythystjewl (8:47:20 PM): I love how Koharu has a cold sore in Mikan
tinytantrum (8:47:24 PM): She does?
tinytantrum (8:47:27 PM): O_O
amythystjewl (8:47:29 PM): yesh
amythystjewl (8:47:35 PM): watch her in close ups
tinytantrum (8:47:38 PM): Oh. XD I still only have the DohhhUP version.
amythystjewl (8:47:49 PM): yeah I see it in the DohhhhUP version
tinytantrum (8:47:54 PM): O_O
amythystjewl (8:47:56 PM): it's blaring
tinytantrum (8:47:59 PM): I hafta find my glasses then.
amythystjewl (8:48:02 PM): rofl
tinytantrum (8:48:54 PM): Where is it on her face? I really want to see now. XD
tinytantrum (8:49:07 PM): OH
amythystjewl (8:49:08 PM): it's like right above the left center of her lip
tinytantrum (8:49:10 PM): On her lip, yeah?
tinytantrum (8:49:11 PM): I SEE IT!
amythystjewl (8:49:13 PM): yeah
amythystjewl (8:49:14 PM): rofl!
tinytantrum (8:49:16 PM): Oh, wow.
amythystjewl (8:49:21 PM): it's horrid isn't it
tinytantrum (8:49:25 PM): I am never going to be able to watch this the same way again.
amythystjewl (8:49:28 PM): ROFL
tinytantrum (8:49:33 PM): I am going to be totally distracted by Koharu's cold sore.
amythystjewl (8:49:44 PM): and in things where it isn't
amythystjewl (8:49:49 PM): it's still gonna be there
amythystjewl (8:49:52 PM): we'll all imagine it
tinytantrum (8:49:53 PM): WAITING FOR ME!
tinytantrum (8:49:58 PM): *hides under bed*

I love Koharu so much, but that coldsore pretty much haunted me forever. Oh well. Koharu was quite adorable as a kid (though look at that picture! I think Koharu was just born to be an idol, really), so I'll forgive her. And coldsore aside, she's gorgeous in "Mikan."

I don't have much to say about Koharu, really. I kind of exhausted my more serious opinions a while back, and she hasn't really changed much.
 

I do love her little pointing things that she does on the "Chance!" parts. Like, "YOU'VE got a chance! You, specifically! Hey you, you rakkii guy!" Or something like that. (I was just listening to the GAM album, can you tell?)

You know, I'm not sure what everyone loves about Aika. Junjun I can now understand (that quote she gave in TIME completely rocked)...but Aika just hasn't been pulling me in. Not too fond of her voice either. I'll give her another year to grow on me, 'cause despite all this, I just can't bring myself to dislike her. Maybe that's her secret idol weapon. And I love how she taps Koharu's hand, and Koha grins. It's so cute.
 

And she was fucking adorable as a kid. Though I think that the effect would be diminished somewhat if that dog wasn't in there.

Gaki looks like my Aunty Susan yay! I'm really glad that Risa's been getting more lines and screentime. Some say she'd be better as the leader, but if anything, I think Gaki's not ready for that yet, and that she's best right now as supporting Aichan. And Aichan is ready, she's shown it.
 

It's funny how Risa's voice went from being not-so-good to being one of the better ones in the group. It's not like the standards went down - her voice has just gotten better. I absolutely loved her performance of "Koi no Hana", though there were some iffy parts. And ever since that performance of "Love Machine" at the 2007 Winter Concert, it's
just been getting better.

Eri...bores me. I mentioned this before, but it really feels like she's been regressing. She was very shy initially, then she broke out to be rather humorous around 2005. And then now, she's grown out her hair again (a major mistake in my opinion) and...now what? She's kind of Gaki's partner in crime, but they feel unbalanced. Eri just isn't interesting anymore. She's stopped playing up her oddities, and people have stopped making comments about them. It's like they don't exist. So where does that leave Kamei? People have said that she's become hotter, cuter, etc - but that doesn't mean crap for me. She's just not as entertaining as she was a few years ago, and all I want to know is what the hell happened? Eri was one of my first Musume loves, and I hate not being able to like her. D:

Though hey, bonus points for bringing back Kameshige. What happened to their friendship? Eri suing Sayu for eating her cookies was one of my favorite Momusu moments - and it was just a hint of what Kameshige were capable of if you tossed them together. So why aren't they being tossed together? Kamemame (Gaki*Kame to some) just doesn't have that Kameshige spice. They get along a little too well, it's boring. They won't offend each other or get in fights. Friends get in fights, it's a fact of life. If they're trying to play up Kamemame as an ideal friendship...well, it just doesn't work. Tsujikago rarely fought, but they stirred up trouble. There's no trouble at all in the realm of Kamemame. No fun at all.

And Eri was a cute kid, etc etc etc. She looks like she's wearing a pot on her head.

A lot of people have mentioned their total hatred for the "cheap green screen" but in my opinion, it at least looks more high-budget than the "dancing on a dark stage *insert closeup here*" kind of PVs H!P has been putting out lately. For God's sake, if it's low-budget, at least try to make it look high-budget.

And besides, that gigantic mikan in the background makes up for all of it. Seriously

"Mikan" is both a step forward and backward. The single is good, the sales were not, the Golden Age relation is definitely not good...but maybe now Up-Front will realize that they need to move forward. Japan doesn't need to hear about getting a chance anymore. I don't know very much about their economy, but they seem to be doing well enough that lines like "this is an Earth with quite a history" don't have the same effect on the Japanese public anymore. They need to start singing what people will listen to. "I don't trust men" seemed like a bit much to some of us, but to a teenage girl who just got her heart stomped on? "Kanashimi Twilight" would probably be her single of choice.

That's all I can think of for why "Mikan" didn't sell, besides the fact that it's not traditionally catchy. But I love it, and that's what's important here!

By the way, I very much like Takahashi Ai's hair. Maybe I'm the only one. It has a very, "Fuck yes, I am the leader now" kind of feel to me. And hey, she doesn't look too bad. If anything, the choppy style gives a little edge to her Blahkitty persona.

The b-side, "Bonkyu! Bonkyu! BOMB GIRL" is...um, I didn't actually bother to listen to it. I tried, I really did, but...I can't really figure out what everyone loves about "Bonkyu." It's okay, but I'd really rather listen to the cheerful "Life is one time!" of Mikan. And it didn't show off the swing style nearly as well as "Mr. Moonlight" or "Popcorn Love!" I fucking love Popcorn Love.

Is "Mikan"'s not-so-stellar sales the reason for the 36th single being pushed back? I doubt it, and I hope not. More importantly, will not the not-so-stellar sales convince Tsunku to stop writing songs like this for them? Or will they be shunted aside even more?

For now, let's just bask in the glory of Linlin and not ask any questions about it.

With only seven minutes left to go until the 26th (for me, anyway, and by the time I'm done it'll be the 26th anyway...who cares?) I figured I would post my Christmas pictures and things now.

A few things you should keep in mind:

1) My cell phone doesn't take the greatest pictures
2) There are many, many purchases made throughout 2007 and that will be made with Christmas money that are not pictured here
3) The All Singles Complete is my precious.

Alright, then let us get this very short show on the road!

EDIT: Picture removed at the request of my mommy. <3. Here, have a picture of The Precious:

This is the love of my life, otherwise known as the All Singles Complete CD. The bookstore I go to strangely only carried the limited "Morning Coffee" one...but I'm not complaining. I bought it with my own money, wrapped it, and gave it to myself on Christmas morning.

Merry Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate, all! :) I don't have a super awesome gift to give you, other than the promise that I'm returning to regular posting now.

However, I did get many a J-pop purchase for Christmas, so I'll be posting those later.

Anyway, here's a post from about October or November:

*****

I thought that they called this group C-ute because they were cute. This is not true. "Tokaikko Junjou" is not cute at all.

It is awesome.

And HOLY SHIT MAIMI. She's my favorite member of C-ute , and this is like the only group where my favorite member actually gets most of the lines. And once again, Maimi shows off how incredibly similar to Yossie she is by doing a distressed intro monologue, a la "Osaka Koi no Uta." Only without the Gackt hair and fairy outfit. (Seriously, Maimi is like a mini-Yossie-in-training, only without the lesbian angle. Have you ever noticed?)

I do like her monologue - she's got a good voice for it, much more mature than the other C-utes, but still youthful enough to pull off whatever the hell she's saying. (Though lulz at "I'm not a child" - you lead a group called C-ute. Who the hell's going to believe that?) I also like the way they arranged it so that she seems to be shifting - you don't concentrate on Maimi as much as the motion of Maimi and her voice.

Wow, this dance is fucking awesome. It's like actual dancing.

 

Some shots of the C-ute girls looking emo. And awesome. It's funny, but this is 30 seconds in and it already feels like a better PV than anything Momusu's done since "AS FOR ONE DAY" - the last PV to be made up of more than a close-up and dance shot.

Airi is AWESOME. She's not my favorite C-ute member by far - I find her to be a little overrated. But she's definitely worthy of praise - and so is her outfit. And um, shit, is that KANNA?

And forget Kanna, is that NAKKI?! She's always held a special place in my heart, because she was the first H!P Kid whose name I learned. And that special place feels all warm and fuzzy looking at her. She looks great here - a little strange, maybe because I'm not used to her without bangs, and her teeth are a little more than obvious...but those are just details. The whole picture is amazing, and she - not to mention all the other C-ute girls - manage to really work these three-second closeups.

Erika dyed her hair! And she's not wearing it all weird and close to her head! (Didn't v-u-den Erika wear it like that too?) It really looks good on her - makes her look older.
 

C-ute has always felt like a motley crew to me: some girls stuck out more than others, and I always felt they didn't really work as one, cohesive unit. Despite the fact that they're at 7 members and actually give each girl a fair share of lines, they still feel as unwieldy as the 15-nin Momusu did.

It honestly feels sometimes like despite being together for OH MY GOD IS THAT KANNA? THAT IS SO NOT KANNA. EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE IT'S TOTALLY KANNA. I never knew she was so gorgeous! Kanna was the one that used to be an Egg, right? It feels weird, because she honestly sometimes seems to know what she's doing more than the other, original members of the group. Maybe backup dancing for the veteran idols let her watch them better than C-ute could (since they were concentrating on their own act.)

Anyway, so now we've got all the C-ute girls coming at you. Chisato looks almost disturbingly tan...and actually, she looks a lot like my friend's younger sister. Heh. Much as I love her, Chisato is the only one that I think doesn't benefit from this PV. Even Maimai gets something out of the stylistic decisions of this PV. She looks much older. How old is Maimai, anyway? Last time I bothered to check, she was eight. Or...maybe she's twelve now? Someone help me.

Though, watching this, I'm kinda getting this feeling like this lineup should be called "Airi Suzuki ft. C-ute". It's not that Airi's not talented - she definitely deserves spotlight. But this song? Mehhh. The PV makes it look better than it actually is. Though "ARE YOU READY? *crazy beat*" is one of the greatest song moments in H!P history. (I'll have to make a list of that, one day.) The C-ute girls sound more squeaky than usual, and would it kill anyone to give someone besides Airi lines in the verses? Considering how tired the dancing makes H!P girls, it doesn't feel right having one girl getting a majority of the lines if she can't carry them. I'm not talking about Aichan, because she's able to sing all her lines without falling down too hard. But Airi? I worry. She's too young, and the Kids (while definitely proving to be major competition) probably don't have the same amount of training that Momusu girls have for this kind of thing.

Nakki looks like she's going to cry, while Kanna takes the "I'm so distraught, help me!" look to a whole new level.

And Airi's face looks weird. It's so...square here. Miyabi might be a beanhead, but Airi's got a box for a jaw.

Oh, and can I just express my complete and total love and devotion to Nakki's outfit? Yes.

"FREEZE!" Everybody clap your hands...oh, come on, you've never had to do the Casper slide? No? Um, okay then. *shifty eyes* I...I never have either...totally.

Oh, who am I kidding. I have been forced to do that dance since I was ten.

Anyway, moving on from my fifth-grade trauma...

Maimi is hot. And she's got a new PB out...yeah, I know what I'll be doing with my Christmas money.

(I love how I make it sound like I'm going to remember to buy it.)

A shot of Airi looking all introspective and emo! Which I really can't get into because I just noticed her upper lip is shaped kinda funky.

"OMGWTFMAIMI?"

Maimi is totally that horrible playground bitch that steals the kids' money. She snatched that baseball right out of Chisato's hand, earning perhaps the greatest "WTF" face ever in H!P history. I think Chistao even managed to knock Iida down in that respect. ("Nee, waratte!"...maybe not.) The best part, in my opinion, is that Maimai just keeps doing her emo stare, completely oblivious to Maimi ruining Chisato's playground experience.

After the bizarre pelvice thrusts of "Massara", we get...chest thrusting. Hey, it's that general no-touchy area. Not much difference.

Though it still looks as wrong on Maimai as it did in "Massara."

THE BASEBALL EXPLODES! Into...a very meaningful line of meaningfulness across the sky. Maimi plants her feet apart (showing off her lovely and awesome legs) and watches it.

Chisato, deciding she must exact revenge, goes to stand next to Maimi. The rest of the C-uties follow. Yes, they are allies...but only for now.

You know, after seeing that baseball incident, I'd like to see "Tokaikko" continued, if in a slightly sillier vein. I call for a "RIVAL ~Leader to Chisato~" single, in which Chisato leads C-ute in a rebellion against Maimi and her ball-snatching ways. Really. Chisato can be the lead vocal, with Nakki backing her up in this rebellion of AWESOME. Maimi and Erika can take the other side. Kanna, Airi, and Maimai...they can stand there. Especially Airi.

...okay, so that will totally never happen. I can dream, dammit. (MORE LINES FOR CHISATO KTHX.)

Anyway, this single kinda proves that the Kids aren't really Kids anymore. They're mature young women, for the most part. The ones that aren't mature young women are at least under the guidance of mature young women that will surely help them become mature young women themselves

And is it just me, or is the phrase "mature young women" starting to sound weird?

So what does this mean for Berryz? Despite their initial advantage, they've been the target of a lot of criticism from blogs, while C-ute's been getting praise. Truthfully, I've begun to root for Berryz a little more, if only because Maasa > C-ute in my eyes. Also because they brought on "Special Generation" and "Munasawagi Scarlet." And well, also because everyone likes C-ute more. What can I say. I like to be contrary.

Furthermore, what does this mean for Morning Musume? I'm one of the few people that isn't thrilled at all by the rise of the Kids. The Kids are little sisters to Momusu that aren't going to grow up for me, and the decision to have them start eating at the big kids' table makes me wince. I don't want them to become Momusu's successors. I could write a whole other post about it, and I think I will.

Oh, yeah, and this single has a B-side as well. (I don't even know what it's called..."Shiritsu Kyoukagu"? Pfft, I don't even care enough to look it up.) The awesomeness of the A-side is unfortunately not matched in the B-side. This is the kind of thing Country Musume should be doing. Satoda Mai, where are you? Their voices are also very noticeably squeaky here, while it only showed slightly in "Tokaikko." It's also around five minutes, so I didn't really bother to listen to the whole thing. I should, because now that I've completely dismissed the B-side, I'll bet I'll listen to it again next year and think it's the greatest thing ever. Just watch.

"Tokkaiko" has proved that the ragtag group that is C-ute is definitely a force to be reckoned with, music-wise. (Chemistry-wise, even the Eggs have them beat.) "Tokaikko" was their breakthrough, and as 2007 draws to a close, I'm wondering what I'll see in 2008.

(For those of you who want to know where I was: finals, Christmas, a brief interlude of teching, and sleeping. Now that Christmas is over, I might be able to touch up the drafts that have been waiting to see the light of day since...like, August, haha.)

So I have all these drafts from like October that I'm working on - and I'm really trying to get them out before the New Year, in addition to all the shit H!P's releasing now + end of the year posts.

But this is more important.

Okay, so I watched the regular version of "Jaja Uma Paradise", and to my surprise, it was even more boobtastic than the Pink Version. (Am I the only one that thinks it's funny that it's called the Pink Version when you think about the Japanese and the color pink? Okay, I'm done making dirty commentary. For now.)

Actually, I think it's hilarious that "Jaja Uma Paradise" roughly translates to "Shrew Paradise" (shrew meaning difficult woman) and I just got finished doing tech for a play called "Taming of the Shrew". I'm sure I could make plenty of jokes within this entry using lines from it, but I'll refrain. Unless one of these screencaps just begs for a quote about tongues and tails. Okay. I'm done now, I swear.

The song is starting to grow on me, though I'd still gladly one-two-three KICK (yes, that was a bad pun. I'm really sorry) it out the window for another "Ajisai" or "Kacchoiize." Though I do confess to running around all day going "Odore! Koisuru no rodeo danshi!"

What I don't like is how they're trying so hard to make the girls sexy and while they do succeed to an extent, I kind of laugh watching this. Rika doesn't look very good in that high ponytail; though Yui and Erika are gorgeous. The dance is laughable, especially the part where they wave their arms above their heads. I mean, come on. I found out Natsu Mayumi does the AKB48 choreography...and they have such awesome choreography. What the fuck happened here?

And even MORE blatant boob shots. That said, I kind of like the glittery thing on Rika's right boob. Now, if only it was somewhere else so I wouldn't have to look at Rika's goodies while I go, "OOOH, SHINY!"

The video only makes more obvious how desperate Biyuuden's situation is: come on, Goto Maki did this exact same kind of thing, and she graduated. But what can Rika do? H!P is really the only place where she can take the front and center like this, so she and the rest of Biyuuden have to dance there and look overjoyed at thrusting while wearing hardly anything. Very flattering.

Rika tries to look alluring. She fails. Well, I think she does, anyway. The legions of nosebleeding fanboys might disagree.

If anything, this pretty much shows you everything that's wrong with Biyuuden: their sexiness isn't at all classy, and while Erika and Yui are decent singers...those "dangerous" and "fantasy" parts were almost painful to listen to, and because of all this, they have to stand there and look absolutely fucking thrilled to be doing this.